Second Chance
by A Spell Uncast
Summary: "Emily, I wish you well, but this is all too much for me. I cannot, will not have such things in my life." those were the words he betrayed her with. Set after Neferet's Curse. When Arthur is Marked and attends the same House of night as Neferet, will he be able to make up for leaving her when she needed him most? Will she let him? Spoilers for Neferet's Curse.
1. May 5th 1894

Second chance

**I got this idea as a plot bunny after reading a prerelease of Neferet's curse. I wanted to write how things would've been different if Arthur was Marked. I'll write it in the format of the book. Any historical errors are my fault, and if you find them, let me know, cause I'd be more than happy to correct them.**** CONTAINS NEFERET'S CURSE SPOILERS******

"_My eyes are open wide  
And by the way, I made it_"

_-Second chance by Shinedown_

May 5th 1894

Neferet's Journal

Entry: the first

I had hoped I would never again have to resort to writing down my thoughts, but I fear if I don't I will be overcome by them. It started one night in the dining hall, when a new fledgling sat down at my table. Elizabeth and Charlotte seemed so excited. Would they have been, had they known who he was? Or who he had been to me?

I had been making small Talk with Charlotte, one of the fifth formers. It was my first day of fourth form. I remember how the winged motif on my dress had felt like an accomplishment. The motif to me represented that I'd put a year between everything I'd suffered in Chicago (or close to a year) and now. That was when the new student walked by. He was quite tall, and had dark hair. I didn't see his face until he'd come back from getting his food. HE sat down at our table, but I didn't look up, so when I did, he had already recognized me.

"Emily?" He gasped, while I was still fixated on my soup. My head shot up, not believing my ears. When I saw him, a shock of recognition raced through me. He was tall, taller even, than he had been before. Not to mention how bright his blue eyes were.

"I haven't been Emily in a long time, Arthur." I replied curtly "A year, in fact."

Elizabeth whispered something to Charlotte and they got up to get dessert.

Arthur looked down at his hands, not daring to make eye contact. I wanted to kill him. He had the audacity to forsake me after father raped me and now he thinks he can just come back to my life? "Are you okay, Emily?" He asked

"I told you I am not Emily." I snapped, wishing he'd just leave.

"You have not told me what to call you instead." He replied, still not daring to meet my eyes.

"That was by design." I started "Arthur. One year ago you made it all too clear that I was never to be a part of your life. I do not care if that's changed to you. It never will to me. You left me alone when I needed you most."

He sighed, slowly letting the air hiss out through his lips "I was afraid you'd say that." His tone sounded clipped "I haven't forgotten you. I thought of you almost constantly, wondering if you were okay. When I was Marked, I asked them where you were, and they told me here. I begged to come here. I wish I could've come here sooner." He sounded like he'd been waiting for the moment he could say this. Like keeping it pent up was physically painful to him. I hoped it was. I hoped that it hurt him even a fraction as much as his leaving me hurt me.

"And you thought by telling me this you could make me love you again?" I demanded "You think that I'm going to sympathize with _your_ pain wondering if I was okay? You think after all this, you can return to me?" I stood up "Maybe, if I was still a naïve, _innocent_, young girl, I'd come back to you. But not now. Not in this life." I turned to leave.

He just let me walk out, but I wasn't done. I whirled around one last time. "And by the way, I'm fine. I made it without you." I stormed out, and into the garden in the back of the House of Night, where there was a statue of Nyx I liked to seclude myself near. There were no lilies there, but there were wild flowers, there was even a thicket of roses that exuded a beautiful scent. It was so beautiful because it wasn't at all like the stargazer lilies from the Wheiler house.

"I used to know a girl who loved the garden." I heard his voice, "There were times when that garden was all she had, but she never stopped going there. That was where I decided I loved her, where we had our first kiss. Where I told her I would marry her. And now she won't even look at me. Who am I kidding, I can't let her know I'm here." That's when I realized he hadn't spoken, I had _read his thoughts._ I tried it again, probing for Charlotte's thoughts, this time. I didn't get actual concrete thoughts, but I got a general picture of contentment.

I wondered if Nyx had given this to me as an affinity. A thrill of excitement rushed through me as I fled from my sanctuary to find my mentor. After we talked, her telling me I had probably imagined it, I came back to my room, where Astrid, the other fledgling in here, was already sleeping. I wonder now, as I write all this down if I am mad. If I have imagined Arthur's thoughts being as such because I wanted him to miss me.

No. I didn't want him to miss me. I told myself, scratching out all the lines above. I do not want him to miss me. I do not want his love unrequited or otherwise. I want him to stay out of my life, like he'd promised to when he said "Emily, I wish you well, but this is all too much for me. I cannot, will not have such things in my life." Those are the words he betrayed me with, and I do not wish to hear any more than that from him. I will not let Arthur Simpton back into my life.

**Well, this may/may not make sense depending on whether you also got an advanced copy of Neferet's Curse… If not, then I should explain something. Arthur Simpton was going to marry Neferet, but then (the day her father raped her, no less) she was marked and he abandoned her.**


	2. May 6th 1894

_May 6th 1894_

_Neferet's journal_

_Entry: the second_

The next evening I awoke and crept back out to the garden. I needed to think, and being that close to Arthur the last time I was there did not help in the slightest. For luck, I donned the pearl necklace that I had used as a weapon. It would help me to remember that I had control over my life. I didn't notice the lily sitting on the gate to the garden, as I was already wrapped up in my own thoughts.

"Neferet." I heard a voice behind me, and I whirled on him, to see Arthur there, again.

"How do you know my name!?" I demanded, narrowing my eyes at him "I told you I wanted you out of my life and I meant it," I whispered, low and menacingly.

"I told you. I've thought of you, constantly. I missed you. And, Charlotte told me your name. She also told me that you were dangerous, or likely to become dangerous if I continued after you. She said she's never seen you like that before," he stood up from the bench "I understand you don't want to forgive me. You need to understand that I'll change. I don't have to ever leave you again."

I glared at him "you don't understand that I'm not Emily anymore. And Neferet isn't partial to betrayers." I wanted him to go away.

Arthur frowned "Will it reassure you if I tell you that your father died? It was a week after you were Marked. No one knows what the cause of death was. I think he got what was coming to him, after everything."

I tugged on my necklace, wanting to tell him that I was the killer, wanting to see that look of horror on his face again. Wanting to prove to him that he didn't know me. Was that mad, wanting to tell him , despite the fact that the High Council could have me excommunicated for it? "I know," I said simply

But Arthur was never one to let me off easy. "How did you know? You were already here and only the tracker knew who you are—were— no, are."

That was it. I took off the necklace "you should know one thing. I _was _there, I left a few days after that. And I was the first to know." I twisted the necklace around my hand, watching as my hand turned purplish and then undoing it.

Arthur squinted at me as though confused. "Did Nyx tell you?" I entered his mind

"Please tell me Emily _didn't _kill him. What am I thinking? _Emily_ could not kill. In the name of all that is holy, she's a woman, she cannot kill a man. Particularly not _that_ man. Could not have the strength or the courage," I snickered at his thoughts. Arthur's constant underestimating was going to be his peril. He didn't think I was capable of killing Father? We would see about who else I was capable of killing.

"No," I replied, wanting to leave him with the suspicion, but no concrete evidence. I began to absently spin the necklace around my hand. The tip of the necklace hit his arm and he recoiled.

"Stop spinning that. It is practically deadly!" he snapped

If only he knew how deadly it could be.

I just put it around my neck and walked off to go eat. "Now I am going to eat breakfast. That is, unless you have any more questions," I turned to go, using my leading question to either confuse him more or leave him wondering.

"Yeah, what can I do to make it up to you?" he asked

I didn't even turn around. "Go back in time and fix your mistakes, but do not try to apologise to me now. If it were something you could make up for, I would let you try, but you are a year too late. I needed you then and I was nothing to you, now you are nothing to me." I replied, storming off.

Arthur stood there, confused. This time he didn't run after me. I am making some progress.

At breakfast, he still sat at my table, but only to cement his place in the group. He gave me imploring looks over our cereal, but that was it. He chose to speak mainly to Charlotte. Charlotte was like Camille had been, mooning over him all day.

"Arthur and I were going to get married." I commented dryly, cutting through Charlotte's commentary on the latest thing she loved about him: his hair.

She stopped abruptly "Oh! I'm sorry. What happened?" she leaned forward, blue eyes open and full of shock.

I would not tell Charlotte the whole sordid tale. Instead, I gave her only the most edited version "I had run to his house, in grave danger—or having just been subjected to something that was awful and fearing a repeat of it. I came to him for solace and then I was marked and he rebuked me. He said he wouldn't have such things in his life." I refused to meet Charlotte's eyes lest I meet her eyes and wallow in the pity I saw there.

"Oh! Neferet, I'm so sorry. What happened?" and there was Charlotte's curiosity. I refused to tell her anything about it, I was sure of that.

"Suffice it to say nothing I wish to speak of." I responded cagily. I certainly wasn't about to tell Charlotte.

Charlotte gasped "Oh, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have asked! That was terribly forward of me!"

I shrugged "It is like another life." I lied "but Arthur belonged in that life, not here with me in this one." I added, truthfully.

Charlotte sighed "I can divert him, if you wish. He was quite interested in talking with me, perhaps if I continue to be 'interesting' he will leave you alone. Just stick with me."

It sounded to me like Charlotte still wanted Arthur as her own. By the end of the day, I'm fairly sure she does. But, as far as I'm concerned, she can have him.

**Well, this was released the day of Neferet's Curse, and the day I leave on a three day trip. *hopefully* I'll publish another chapter after that.**


	3. May 17th 1898

**Did you miss me? No. Okay, cool. On with Neferet's story.**

May 17th 1894

Neferet's journal

Entry: the third

Is madness not repeating the same course over and over, expecting a different destination? I ask myself this as I think about the weakness I showed today, the way I gave in to my wishes, rather than thinking first. It is a childish decision, choosing because you want comfort, want someone to _love._ I thought I had given up on the ridiculous sentiment a year ago, when it had forsaken me. I blame the High Priestess with her mantra "the answer is always love". What she must know is that, in my situation, the question to which love is the answer is "what will destroy you". So why do I find myself inexplicably repeating the same path? Am I masochistic? But, I digress.

Eleven days ago, I saw Charlotte take an interest in Arthur. Today, Arthur confronted me about it.

It all started at lunch, when we were all eating and Charlotte was coming onto him shamelessly. Clearly she did not mind being forward in the slightest. Arthur then announced that he needed to talk to me, and escorted me out of the room.

"Can you kindly request To Charlotte that she keep her hands off me?" he asked, sounding disgruntled.

"what is to say she would listen," I snapped icily, "what is to say I care?" I glared at Arthur, telling him with my eyes that I did not care. I just wanted to start a new life.

"I would not mind so much, except that I see you right there, and I can never be happy with just Charlotte. She is like Camille in that respect," he watched as I got up and tried to push past him, refusing to meet his eyes, but feeling them on me. It bore a vague resemblance to the burning look. I stepped back, hoping he did not notice the shock of fear that his expression had incited.

Once I was thinking rationally again, I frowned at him "Arthur, you had your chance a year ago, and you left me. Not only that but it was-" I was interrupted by his next actions.

Arthur moved his hands to the side of my face, pulling my mouth to his. He kissed me like we used to kiss, though I remained still beneath his lips. I moved to push him off me. He refused to budge. I bit his lip and he recoiled, I saw a bit of a red stain on his lip. I had drawn blood. The scent was like the scent of the tea I used to drink with my friends. It was warm, comforting and felt like home, before home had become hell. I had to force myself to stay away from the scent, but it did not have much more than a sentimental value to me. It smelled like home, not like food.

Arthur's eyes still bore into mine, looking shocked "If you desire my blood," he began "take it. I will give it to you willingly, just talk to me, Emily. Do not keep me at a distance."

His words were like a goad, working away at what was left of my rational thoughts. I crossed the space between us in one stride, pulling his face back towards mine. I drank from him, clutching onto him like there was no tomorrow. The feeling was foreign, and quite pleasant. I felt, for a second like a different Neferet, not the Neferet who could kill, a different, less cynical Neferet. Maybe even one that could love.

Now, I scoff at the ridiculous-ness . Love is for the weak. Those who cannot stand alone, do not have the strength to be solitary. I am not like that. I do not need him. I pushed him away, licking the blood off my lips "Arthur, you are a perfect distraction. And I will admit, that was thoroughly enjoyable," he nodded, hanging on my words, "but I cannot love. That night I swore to myself that I would never again be weakened by that damned emotion. One kiss, blood or not, will not change my mind so easily". As I heard him make a sound of shock, I pushed past him, returning to breakfast.

For the rest of the day, I waged war on my conscience, which wanted me to pay for treating Arthur as so worthless. The rest of me saw it as what he deserved, after all, he had treated me as less than nothing when I had needed him most. I wondered if Nyx would want me to forgive him.

The clincher for me was when, in fencing, where fledglings of all forms were in the same class, I read a part of his thoughts. He had been staring at me, when I met his eyes, and thought _I wonder if he misses me half as much as he says._ His thoughts became visible to me after that. "I wonder why she did that. I wonder if, right now, as my blood courses through my veins she is thinking of me. Why must everything be so complicated?" I exited his thoughts, shaking my head as if to dislodge his thoughts.

For the rest of the night, I too sat, wondering about possibilities which seem, frankly, a tad too good to be true. Even during the Dark Daughters meeting, where normally I am just as involved as the older girls, despite being a third or fourth former. Asteria, our leader, and the high priestess in training pointed it out. "Neferet, you do not seem like yourself today. What is the matter?"

I sighed, not wanting to unload it all onto Asteria, or Rose, or Géraldine, who were the only ones paying attention. The youngest was Rose, and she was still a fifth former. I was fairly sure that the problems of someone close to three years (in Asteria's case) would matter to them.

"It is nothing," I finally said, "I am just thinking about something—someone that baffles me".

Asteria smiled sagely "Remember, Neferet. The answer is always love".

And how I tire of hearing it.

**So, thanks to KShade for pestering me until I put this damned chapter up. And then editing it… a lot. And naming the Dark Daughters. Truth be told, she's just kind of epic… like you if you review.**


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